[Pauls MDX]

chevette

"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of drywall!"

"The Chevette just reeked of dinky-even the ad shouted that this was the dinky little car for you. The ad didn't show the car going anywhere fast... because it couldn't."

"Plywood floor, printed circuit 'wiring' and no redeeming qualities. It was a throw away, 'Saturday Night Special' from the word go."

"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would begin."

"The big winter of 82-83 froze all the Chevettes in my town like dumb ducks on an icy lake."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

cimarron

"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off-for a while."

"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had a Caddy price tag!"

"A stupid marketing ploy. Nothing more than a Chevrolet Cavalier, which Roger Smith gussied up and called a Cadillac."

"When we traded it in my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

dauphine

Truly unencumbered by the engineering process."

"At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen... which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."

"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."

"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

gremlin

"Calling it a pregnant roller skate would be kind."

"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."

"The car had all the quality and safety of a cheap garden tractor."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

lecar

"I'm convinced that the body metal for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."

"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant."

"Our Le Car couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."

"I left it unlocked overnight, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

pinto-blow up gas tank

"Dad had a baby-poop-orange Pinto the year that car thieves hit our street. Although a dozen cars were stolen in one night, ours was there the next morning, on a strangely empty block."

"Remember that great Pinto bumper sticker, 'Hit Me and We Blow Up Together?'"

"The car would do 75 mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70 mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."

"I took this car to a high-crime shopping mall and left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition. I came back several days later and, much to my disgust, it was still there."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

vega- good hot rod

"When the rear end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of racing it. Racing who? My grandfather in his wheelchair?"

"As near as I could tell, the car was built from compressed rust.

"My Chevy Vega actually broke in half going over railroad tracks. The whole rear end came around slightly to the front, sort of like a dog wagging its tail."

"Burned so much oil, it was single handedly responsible for the formation of OPEC

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

volare
"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."

"The stalling problem was so bad that I had to take a clockwise route to work so I could make all right turns, and not risk stalling on a left turn in front of oncoming traffic."

"After the floor boards rusted out in the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."

"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation."

"Owning a Volare was total ego death--the theme song, the vinyl Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next

vw bus

"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transportation."

"There was no heat--unless, that is, the auxiliary gas heater caught fire."

"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together."

"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."

"It was a death trap on the highway-you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."

 

[Pauls MDX]

next and last

worst of all- yugo

"I once test drove a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear shift knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around the windshield."

"The Yugo's first stop after the showroom was the service department: 'Fill 'er up and replace the engine!'"

"Any time we made a right hand turn, we all had to lean to the right to prevent the driver's side rear tire from scraping against the wheel well."

"At least it had heated rear windows--so your hands would stay warm while you pushed."

 

[frostyra]

Paul, a friend of mine would disagree on the Chevette -- he put over 250,000 miles on each of two of them, just commuting back and forth to work over several years. But he DID impress the girls by telling them that he owned a 'vette!

 

[The Marty Show]

I friend of mine in school had a Chevette. I was unlucky enough to actually have driven it. The impression that I got was that the brake pedal did the same thing as the gas pedal. When you stepped on it - nothing happened!

 

[MrPrescott]

I'm embarassed to admit that I had a chevy citation hatchback. If not in the top 10, certainly deserving of #11.

All plastic, no handling, cold, rust magnet. . . .

 

[srpbep]

Paul123 ... Thanks for the entertainment and trip through the past

 

[Tech555]

Yeah!, commonly known as the Pinto Blow-about

 

[A2MDXer]

Paul,

Thanks for the list - many good laughs this morning. Kinda puts our weeping mirrors issues in perspective.

 

[petrusky]

Citation!!!

I thought the the Citation should be on the list as well. I am surprise. I had a Citation before, everything in the car makes noise except the horn. Those good old days!!!!

 

[rob1022]

Pontiac Fiero

I once saw a TV segment on this guy who blew the engine in his Fiero so he removed the engine and parked it in his back yard. He turned the rear deck into a gas grill and the front compartment into a tree planter.

 

[charlieinnj]

Where's.........

the AMC Pacer! Did they get any uglier than that?

 

[A2MDXer]

Re: Where's.........

the AMC Pacer! Did they get any uglier than that?

Ah yes, the fishbowl. I should be on the list but Paul was kind enough to include the Gremlin. Aren't the two related?? I admit the Pacer didn't have the sheer sexiness of the Gremlin and those sleek lines but it looked like you could fry up a lunch in the hatchback with all of that glass! Talk about ahead of its time - it was using solar energy (probably for power also). Definitely a classic.